


Cold Mornings

by Squiggly_Bones



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Brazil Arc, I have feelings, M/M, Relationship Decay, might make it multichaptered, not beta cuz i like to live on the edge lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:41:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squiggly_Bones/pseuds/Squiggly_Bones
Summary: Hinata wakes up with no one to hold.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Oikawa Tooru, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	Cold Mornings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello it's me again w my oihina feelings lol. 
> 
> This is kind of related to my fic "No Strings Attached" but you dont gotta read it for this to make sense. 
> 
> I just want a place to share my thoughts with i hope u guys enjoy it???

Hinata wakes up, subconsciously searching for the body heat he's been so used to lately, only to find nothing. No arms around his waist and no whisperings of corny yet sweet lines. No Oikawa Tooru beside him to tell him he's not alone in Rio. 

He doesn't think too much about it. He checks his phone instead to see if Tooru left a message. 

None.

This has never happened before but he doesn't let it run him over. 'Maybe Tooru got called by his teammates, yeah... maybe there was an emergency team meeting...' with these thoughts in mind, he lets himself drift back to sleep in the heat of Brazilian summer. 

Hinata, of course, had no idea back then that those mornings were going to be his usual today. Two months of pure bliss with Tooru suddenly all gone. They barely talk outside of the bedroom anymore. Only calls him beautiful when their bodies are messily pressed against each other with only lust in between that sometimes makes his heart ache. The sweet, half lidded gaze that Tooru used to look at him with has moved to anything other than Hinata himself. 

'Ah... is it fading away?' He knows it is. No more strolls along the beach. No more getting wasted, skinny dipping, then the occasional escape from the cops for using the pool at midnight. No more entwined fingers like they're the only people in the streets of Rio, like Tooru has loved him ever since he first saw him spike back in highschool. 

Still, Hinata holds on. Holds on to the feelings he's kept ever since he was fifteen, watching the Grand King skillfully conduct his orchestra from the other side of the court. He doesn't ask Tooru about what they are. He doesn't ask him about what they'll become. 

Hinata Shouyou, Karasuno's former wild card, was able to face Ushijima and declare his desire to beat him. Was able to tell Kageyama up front that he'll be in the court longer. Was able to go to Brazil, alone and without knowing anyone, solely for improving at volleyball. Yet he doesn't have the courage to ask what him and Oikawa Tooru will be tomorrow after the sunrises and he finds himself waking up in a bed with no one to hold again. 

He usually calls and texts when he's back in Argentina but even those have lessened with time. Hinata lies to himself saying that it's a good thing because he now has more time for volleyball. It does remind him of Tooru sometimes -- most of the time -- always, but he's not the type to ruin his life over unspoken break ups. 'We weren't even officially dating...' He continues to play and improve and occasionally, even do more with partners he's only met for a day. They're not Tooru, but it momentarily heals the pain of sleeping and waking up alone. 

Hinata Shouyou shines bright and powerful; except for the days when his thoughts are clouded by questions he has been asking himself ever since Tooru and him completely stopped talking. He hasn't checked social media, afraid that he'll come across him there. He's tried sending him a message but his hands always shake badly before he's even able to push the send button. 

Lately, volleyball, getting wasted, and sucking someone you just met off doesn't seem to solve anything. He's hated being called Shouyou, no idea when it started. Sometimes, he sees a familiar silhouette and his heart starts racing only to find out that it's not who he's looking for. He's started hating Oikawa Tooru. Bricks of feelings he's kept to himself all wondering why this happened. 'Was it me? Was it something I did...?' Pangs of insecurities always hit him harder than the ball for it comes unexpectedly.

He doesn't know when it exactly started falling apart but it's been another two months and he's doing better -- social media and all. Tooru has never posted anything, not that he checks. If he did, maybe he just missed it. Hinata completely managed to avoid messaging him and thinks he's a coward for doing so. After a month of pain and anger, the only question in his mind is

"Why was I so hurt?"

He feels stupid for not realising it sooner. He's been keeping his feelings to himself. Feelings about Tooru. He's always been outspoken about what he wants but he never knew how to deal with something romantic. Two months later and he's still searching for him in the crowd. Still have mornings where he wishes he's beside him. He's doing better without the anger and is slowly getting the courage to want to talk to Tooru again. 

Hinata admits to himself he's in love. It's not just attachment because they've known each other since highschool and Tooru used to hold him with warm hands whenever the nights get cold. Not infatuation because he realises he loved dealing with Tooru's shitty personality. Found it weirdly endearing when he'd go as far as beating a kid at an arcade game just because he wants the first prize (he convinced him to give it to the kid though). There was something extremely breathtaking when he managed to tear down the Grand King's walls, that shit talking and flirty facade, for the first time. Something magnificent with seeing the real Oikawa Tooru: clingy, doting, expressive yet beautifully shy. Something with the way Tooru laughed heartily and Hinata immediately knew it was honest. 

He's in love and telling him might hurt more. Talking again might just make things worse. But Hinata still wants to say it even if he's a little too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I might make this multichaptered because i dont wanna leave it hanging.
> 
> (Also idk how to tag. I mentioned sucking someone off but idk if that warrants for an M rating??) Lol sorry


End file.
